Music Review: Please Describe Yourself by Dogs Die in Hot Cars (2004)

Please Describe Yourself, the debut album from Scottish Indie rockers Dogs Die in Hot Cars, is like your oldest friend that you don't speak to enough. You could go months at a time without thinking about it but when you do rediscover it, it's exactly as you remembered, yet different, somehow always managing to carry new meaning, relating to something completely new to you as if it had known all along and was just waiting for you to realise. It's also an incredibly fun album with brilliant hooks and a diverse range of riffs and bouncy beats nearly all of which seem to inspire a terrific energy in the listener, if not only to keep up with that of the music itself.

Would you pay $1,000 for a Blu-Ray?

This kinda says it all.

How much is a good Blu-Ray worth? Universal Studios certainly hopes that $999.99 isn't pushing it too far. According to /Film September 6th is the date that you'll have the opportunity to show the world just how much you love Scarface with a Limited '1000 copy run' edition on Blu-Ray. What could this possibly come with for a grand? Considering the movie in question, I struggle to imagine anything short of a truck full of finely cut cocaine would live up to such a price.
But that's not what you get. No, you get something arguably better. You get a " hand-painted humidor crafted out of untreated Spanish cedar". One of only 1000! It's entirely possible I may have just died a little inside.
Honestly, I can't begin to fathom the idiocy involved here, They're charging $999.99 for a Blu-Ray with some new extras and the crux of the deal is that you get a goddamn box? There is no way that a responsible studio can justify trying to make almost $1million on a thousand wooden boxes, I don't care if they were hand-crafted by Al Pacino from the wood of his recent acting. It doesn't help that the extras sound just as unrewarding; a scorecard that keeps count of uses of the word 'fuck' and the amount of bullets fired? It's not as if the internet hasn't had this sort of miscellaneous-meets-ridiculous information covered since the birth of online geekery.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for special editions. Regardless or not of whether I'll watch them, I'll always buy the maximum amount of discs available with a movie and yes, I was the guy who bought the Night Vision Goggles edition of Modern Warfare 2. I'm not proud of it. But this...this is my limit. I'm making a statement and putting down a firm answer to Universal's (literal) million dollar question:
No.

Originally posted on Screened.com on March 29th, 2011

The Porn Post

Disclaimer: This is a blog about pornography and it's place as a medium. If you do not feel comfortable reading an article that delves into these matters, you should probably stop reading immediately.

It doesn't matter if you watch porn or not. It has nothing to do with anyone else and little to do with this article, because regardless of whether or not you do watch porn you have an opinion about it. You have assumptions and considerations about that industry and you might even have problems with it. Take the latter, there: a lot of people seem to have problems with porn. It's one of the last great social taboo's and although by the day that particular wall is being chipped away at by people who become more vocal about sexuality it'll never really fall.

Video Game: Batman: Arkham City Trailer Dissection

So I was just checking out No High Scores who had found this new Batman trailer on RPS, who seem to have found it on IGN. Quite frankly, it's pretty awesome.

More Batman: Arkham City Videos

I'm really digging the way this trailer works for a number of reasons. It's got a great aesthetic to it, showcasing the mix of gameplay and cinematics that made Arkham Asylum work so well. The music is pretty fantastic and as well as being thematically appropriate has a real gritty buzzing tone to it that sort of reminds me of Angel by Massive Attack. And of course, there's the gameplay which looks pretty identical to Arkham Asylum, aside from maybe some more set-piece oriented bits such as avoiding helicopters whilst gliding (or, you know, gliding straight onto them.)

Let's break this down from the beginning:

Film Review: Star Wars: Episode III-Revenge of the Sith (2005)

What Star Wars has always done well is basic storytelling. Regardless of the little details scattered throughout the course of the story, The Original Trilogy is essentially a fairytale set in space and it seems that as writer-director George Lucas attempted to broaden his horizons to the political spectrum of the universe he'd created, the illusion began to fall apart with The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. With Episode III-Revenge of the Sith, the story comes full circle with few questions left unanswered and no plot thread of merit untapped but perhaps more importantly it comes closest to capturing the tone and feel of a true Star Wars movie.

Following the end of Episode II, Revenge of the Sith picks up with Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) hunting down the last few leaders of the Seperatist movement, introduced as opposing the Republic in Attack of the Clones. Immediately following the most engaging space battle since A New Hope, Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) of the Republic Senate appoints Anakin to the Jedi Council, in an attempt to corrupt the young Jedi. Despairing over his newly pregnant wife Padme (Natalie Portman) and a series of visions he has concerning her death during childbirth, Anakin turns to Palpatine to learn if the Dark side of the force could hold any answers for saving her.
Compared to the attempts of the previous two prequels, Revenge of the Sith has a more focused presentation choosing to focus on the more emotional dynamic of the core characters than having their world of political intrigue propel the plot. There is plenty of weight to the transition Anakin makes because it his fuelled by a desire to save a loved one, something that anybody can relate to and as events run to their natural conclusion there is little doubt that love is the key motivator as opposed to descending down to the ranks of evil simply for the sake of it. Subtle layers of persuasion are added to Anakin's decision as he seems to become more distressed with his view on the world, initially acknowledging the terrible nature of his actions but eventually being so overcome with confusion that he begins to believe the lies that Palpatine feeds him, accusing the Jedi of conspiring against the Chancellor, the Senate and even himself.

Film Review: Star Wars: Episode II-Attack of the Clones (2002)

After the lukewarm critical reception to Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace you might think George Lucas would revisit the script for Attack of the Clones to ensure that the same mistakes wouldn't be made again. But really, who can honestly say that nearly a billion dollars in ticket sales wouldn't enthuse them to charge forwards, full steam ahead?
Attack of the Clones is a fairly dire film in all aspects. All the mainstays of the Star Wars franchise are included solely to satiate the appetite of the general fan but few of these aspects work within the structure or runtime of a two and a half hour movie. To say that Attack of the Clones is the worst Star Wars film is an understatement; the only way you can do this trainwreck of a movie justice is to simply accept that it is a bad movie.

Set approximately a decade after the conclusion of The Phantom Menace, Padmé Amidala (Natalie Portman) is now a young woman and concluded her term in the royal seat of Naboo. Now an Senator, she finds herself in a state of constant peril, following an assassination attempt which claims the life of a decoy. Due to her close ties with current Senate Chairman Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) the Jedi council agrees to place her under the care of two of their most trusted agents, Obi-Wan-Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) and his young padawan Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), both of whom have a history with Amidala from the events of The Phantom Menace. Following a subsequent attempt on Padmé's life, Anakin is sent to guard her on Naboo whilst Obi-Wan follows a lead which suggests that the Republic or the Jedi Council may have ordered for an army of clones to be manufactured on a secret distant planet called Kamino. As Obi-Wan uncovers a conspiracy regarding this army, Anakin struggles to deal with the guilt of leaving his mother on Tatooine a decade prior, as well as accepting how to deal with his reignited affection for Padmé.

Film Review: Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace (1999)

Hitting cinemas across the world 16 years after the chronological end of the primary timeline, Star Wars: Episode I-The Phantom Menace made a grand sweeping entrance at the box office but ultimately failed to impress hardened fans or critics. Lucas may have appealed to younger audiences with his futuristic graphics showcase but 12 years later, how does the the beginning of this space opera hold up? Surprisingly well, actually.

As the film opens to the iconic fanfare and the much-pastichéd wall of text introduces the basic premise it becomes evident that this new-age Star Wars is catering to a different audience entirely: gone are the cookie-cut villains and instant-story of good vs. evil. Enter instead a distinctly metaphor-ridden tale of the dastardly Trade Federation looking to invade the Republic protected planet of Naboo, unless negotiations are settled with great immediacy. Arriving aboard the Federations headquarters are two Republic commissioned Jedi Knights, Qui-Gon-Jinn (Liam Neeson) and Obi-Wan-Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), acting as diplomats to secure those negotiations but soon the Federation reveals its true nature in a lethal attempt to dispose of the Jedi.
Naturally these two Jedi escape and begin on an adventure to escort Naboo's Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) in order to take her to the Republic Senate of Coruscant, halfway across the galaxy. Along the way they come across young Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd) whose reflexes and skills display a potent concentration of Force-activity.

Film Review: I Am Love (2010)

My experience of Italian cinema is probably not what it should be. Whilst French or Korean films have a real aura of down-to-earth grittiness about them, Italian cinema has always struck me as seeming entirely pretentious, a great deal of unjustified artistic shots flung about to cover up a distinct lack of content concerning the plot. With all that said, if I Am Love is as pretentious as any Italian movie I've come to loathe it can be forgiven. it has so much to offer that some slight overindulgences can easily be forgiven.

To describe the plot of I Am Love is akin to describing the plot of an individuals life, it really doesn't work. The driving narrative focuses on an affair but it takes a good hour of the movie to even begin to suggest what will occur. Instead, we are initally introduced to the wealthy Recchi family, who live off the success of Edoardo Sr. (Gabriele Ferzetti) and his textile factory. The opening shots are of preparations being made for a lavish dinner party in celebration of Edoardo's birthday and the no-expense-spared attitude is in a way, entirely underwhelming; although the sets and food has an elegance to it, the richness of it all is never fully exploited allowing director Luca Guadagnino to place the emphasis upon the relationships between all the family members. This proves to be a wise decision as the characters are what will keep you watching, as opposed to the insatiably colourful wardrobes or even the striking architecture that the film exploits.
Tilda Swinton plays the lead, Emma Recchi, the Russian born wife of Edoardo's son. Her ability to merely exist in a family and a culture that is not hers is fascinating and her alienation, although perhaps dulled after two decades of tolerance is perfectly captured, as is her reintegration with happiness as the film progresses. Emma's relationship with her son, Edoardo Jr is warm enough to be one of the few truly believable paternal bonds to be staged on film and Swinton's ability to speak fluent Italian whilst gradually descending furthur into a Russian accent is subtle but remarkable.

If anything, it seems most fitting to liken I Am Love to The Godfather thematically, but without the gangsters. Despite the obvious Italian parallels there are also ideas here that are intrinsically similar such as a family business that alters the very nature of those involved and the final pressing notion that innocence cannot survive in an adult world, a notion that I Am Love pushes both figuratively and literally towards the end of its running time.Although a beautifully shot movie, I Am Love is probably most notable for the way it plays with conventions of a prosperous lifestyle. The more glamorous scenes are usually played against silence, with little focus on the opulence inherently present to make the whole affair feel a hairs inch from mundane. The more manic scenes, however, tend to introduce a glorious musical score and elegant camera motions that make the madness feel so much more accomplished than any piece of furniture or distinct cuisine dish might have.

Although I Am Love does occasionally over-flourish with its artistry the deep familial drama is enough to keep the picture level throughout its running time and the insistence to play against the rules of established upscale drama make it a phenomenal and beautiful introspective film

5/5

Can A Joke Become An Oppressive Act? Christianity in Film

As a disclaimer, it's worth noting that I'm going to be completely honest about my impressions of religion here. I am mostly neutral when it comes to any sort of religious topic or debate but I have strong views when it comes down to particulars so if you are even remotely sensitive about the topic of religion you have been warned, I'm not holding back.

Spoiler Warning: This article contains Spoilers for the movie Se7en and references to non-spoiler themes from the movie Easy A.

I'm fairly open when it comes to religion. Different cultures fascinate me and with just about any widespread or mainstream culture the most defining influence is religion. I was the class geek in Religious Education at school, not because I was ever intent on passing with flying colours but because the ethical and existential opportunities for intelligent and provocative discussion really appealed to me. Other than media studies and perhaps English Literature it was the only subject that didn't involve hard facts, that opened up a thought and invited everybody to dissect until they had found their own preference or, for some people, their own answers.
An example of my open-nature: when I was still living with my family, some Jehova's Witnesses knocked on our door and asked if we were interested in their religion. Initially, I said no and they left at which point my sister expressed some confusion about their practices. As an atheist who is merely curious about religion, I didn't have all the answers, so I decided to take my sister down the street to meet them after they had finished at the next house. We made clear that we weren't looking to convert, but were interested in what being a Jehova's Witness is all about and made casual, interesting conversation for about a half an hour. Every few weeks they would stop by to chat, sometimes about religion, sometimes just to say "Hi" and admirably, never put us under any pressure to consider converting. I have no problem saying that they were remarkably nice people and I have no regrets about the time I spent with them.

Despite all this, I am a very cynical individual who struggles to trust any organisation that is too large. I couldn't tell you how large is too large but let's just sum it up as the Government, the corporate enterprises of Rupert Murdoch and any form of Organised Religion. Naturally, Christianity is the most portrayed religion in contemporary media and I think I need to get this article back on topic so let's dive straight in. I recently caught two films that featured, how can I put this sensitively, Chrisitan enthusiasts of an extreme nature. The first is Se7en: now, it's not much of a spoiler to point out that religion plays heavily in the plot of Se7en and if you don't know how the Seven Deadly Sins feed into Christianity, I recommend you take a gander at Wikipedia for a few minutes. Anybody who has seen Se7en will know that the killer, John Doe, is an obsessive Christian who believes that he is helping the world by making an example of sinners, kind of like a biblical Jigsaw, really. John Doe is a portrait of a man who may be labelled as insane a million times over, but his thought process and awareness of his actions make it clear that this is simply not the case. If murder is a moral imperative then the nature of Doe's crimes make him something worse than evil. He really is something of a monster. We'll come back to him soon.
Easy A makes fun of Christians in a much more light-hearted manner: they're much more in line with the traditional Jesus Freak archetype that most modern day comedies or suburban dramas will make use of, the spin here being that they're teenage Jesus Freaks looking to get rid of a girl they believe to be a harlot. There was one moment in the movie Easy A that caught my attention and that was when a group of these obsessed Christian kids began singing a song about Moses and his oppressed people. I can only assume the point behind this particular...hymn was that the film-makers wanted to suggest an irony behind the notion that these kids are actively attempting to oppress the main character and are mindlessly asinging a song drilled into them by their parents from birth. What stuck in my mind however was the irony that a film actively mocking an entire faith is giving that faith their own argument of oppression. If any Christian was to take offence at the way Easy A caricatures the Organised Religion Christianity they could cite fascism and as I'm sure we know from every religion based war of all time, there's little more dangerous than an angry religion.
Naturally, Se7en walks a similar if not much more dangerous tightrope. Although it doesn't mock religion it certainly raises the point that Doe is using his religion as an excuse for his slaying. Even more disturbing is the concept that Christianity in fact inspired him to kill which is his own argument, that God does not talk to him but nonetheless he is doing God's work.
Referring back to my mistrust of religion, the examples above pretty much encompass everything I've come to loathe about Organised Faith. I'm more than happy to acknowledge that different people believe different things to get through the day but there are certain minorities that stand out and set a bad precedent for the millions of people just getting on with their lives. The overtly vocal, who attempt to force their way of living onto people who are comfortable and well adjusted with something entirely different, whether they are street preachers, snobby elitists or those who will tell you that you're going to burn unless you convert are one of these minorities and characterised in Easy A. The benefit is that these people are at least trying to help you The other minority, is the far more terrifying prospect of an individual looking not to change your life but to end it because you're not worth the air you breathe. Clearly, killing you is not going to help you in any sense and that is not something that these people care about. I'm more than happy to accept that some atheists are just as bigoted as those who subscribe to religious beliefs but I have never heard of an atheist killing a Christian because he is a Christian.

So, if media representations of Christianity can be construed as oppression, why have we not heard more thunder about it? I think that mostly it's because both sides, media and religion, are currently in a place where each is sensible enough to just let it go. The media is diverse enough to have a God channel, and it's only free speech to crack the occasional joke about every faith, Christianity is merely the most accessible in this day and age. And Christianity is, as I have already mentioned, mostly made up of down-to-earth people who simply have different beliefs than atheists. The minorities will still come out in full force whenever they smell a hint of persecution (take for example the 'furore' over Kevin Smith's Dogma) but after a day or two of headlines, the whole thing just begins to blow over. It's an interesting position to consider but fortunately adults seem to be running both the Vatican and the film-studios and as long as they're capable of tolerating each other I doubt we have any real media war to worry about any time soon.

Originally posted on Screened.com on March 4th, 2011

Film Review: Se7en (1995)

Se7en is set in a terrible city, one teeming with drugs, murder, corruption and spite, one in which a man stained with blood could not only walk the streets but wander into a police station and no-one would pay him a second glance because they've yet to look at him at all. The scariest thing about David Fincher's horrific thriller is not that this city is so distant from our own world, more that it is difficult to convince ourselves that this cannot be the world we live in. It most certainly could be.

Making use of any number of tropes, Se7en begins as a seemingly predictable, albeit bleak, police drama. As the young new homocide cop in town, David Mills (Brad Pitt), is assigned to work with the weary old soon-to-be retired lieutenant, William Somerset (Morgan Freeman), a series of murders begin to take place, each utilising a deadly sin in its execution. It's a very excitable premise for a procedural but as the two leads begin to realise the severity of the crimes under investigation it becomes quickly apparent that as a film, Se7en is well restrained and paradoxical all at once.
Consider the handling of the first murder, for instance: an obese corpse is found in a pitch black apartment tied to a chair, swimming in his own excrement face down in a bowl of spaghetti sauce. The scene that is set is as disgusting as that description, if not more so, but the (lack of) lighting for the scene allows for brief shots of disturbing imagery to overwhelm your mind without necessarily showing the worst aspects of the scene. In an unsettling way, this technique is tasteful and the rest of the film is very smart about finding the rope on a tightwalk between torture porn and intelligent, if grotesque, drama.

To describe any more of the murders would be to delve too far into spoilers. The thought that has gone into each of the sins practical killing methods is evident and there is no denying the twisted nature of any death in the film but between the discoveries of corpses are some great moments between the characters of the film. Mills is brash and charged but a genuinely caring individual who puts his all into his work, even if he doesn't necessarily think things through immediately, whilst Somerset is a thoughtful and at times hypocritical product of a city living in squalor. The two ponder philosophy and morality in an entirely accessible fashion but the circumstances of their discussion drives home the conundrum of the questions they ask. The film offers answers on both sides of the argument, but wisely never attempts to give a conclusive resolve.
Secondary characters add a great deal of colour to the movie that is easy to miss: R. Lee Ermey plays a police captain who in the midst of a conversation with Mills and Somerset notices a phone ringing only to pick it up and spit out "This ain't even my desk." before slamming the receiver back down, John C. McGinley appears as a SWAT team captain who commands his unit with such remarkable machismo and seems to refer to the leads only with the word "Dicks!". If there is one thing I imagine Se7en will never get enough credit for, it is its sense of humour.

Technically the film is entirely competent. The camera work is of good standard for a film of this calibre and the lighting is consistently dynamic. The most notable aspect of the film is probably it's consistently overcast dreary colour palette which helps ease in a sense of foreboding throughout the running time. There is also some really clever split-second editing in use here but it is far more engaging if you spot it for yourself.
The music is fantastic throughout the film, with the opening credits making use of a remix of the Nine Inch Nails track 'Closer', not only a punchy raw track but entirely relevant to many of the central themes on display here. The score is suitably epic and drawn out making fitting use of horns for that real noir ambience. If you're a fan of this particular genre of soundtracks it'll likely stay with you, but if you're not as appreciative the music is still entirely serviceable.

Although Se7en doesn't ask too many questions you've never heard before, it certainly puts them in a context that deepens the meaning behind them. That much, along with a competently made film would have been great but due to the mastery behind almost every element of this picture Se7en achieves more than greatness and proves to be one of the single most engaging and disturbing thrillers of all time.

5/5

Originally posted on Screened.com on March 1st, 2011

Film Review: Unbreakable (2000)

Unbreakable is such a remarkably powerful film both as far as both production and content are concerned. The story is an ambitious one to sell and it is only after the overwhelming success of Shyamalan's first film that a studio would be willing to greenlight it. It's very slow, more so than The Sixth Sense, and although both leads are superbly underplayed that subtlety is entirely necessary to hold our attention as the plot meticulously unravels.

As Unbreakable opens, we're treated to a quiet moment just following the birth of Elijah (Samuel L. Jackson). Elijah won't stop crying and once a doctor arrives on the scene he examines the newborn to determine that all of his limbs are broken. Post opening credits we're transported approximately 40 years into the future to find David Dunn (Bruce Willis) awaking in a hospital following a train crash. Out of 130 passengers, he is the sole survivor. He doesn't possess a single injury.

The rest of the film is about these two characters finding each other and themselves. Elijah explains that he has a disorder which restricts protein production in his body and as a result his bones break and that he believes there exists a polar opposite in the world: a man who does not break. Given the circumstances it's somewhat reasonable to see why Elijah takes such an interest in David.

Although the core plot is undeniably that of a super-hero movie the focus on display is unlike any other you'll find in a multiplex. Unbreakble has distinct themes of character specific existentialism as both David and Elijah begin to discover their own places in the universe and realise what is expected of them. As with all existential movies Unbreakable is remarkably dialogue heavy and makes extensive use of drawn out conversations to relay necessary information. There are brief examples of flashbacks but they are only utilised sparsely and solely to provide information which could clutter the flow of conversation or feel awkwardly scripted otherwise.

The plot itself isn't anywhere near as 'twisty' as Shyamalan's other efforts. The most odd premise, David's surviving a train wreck whilst suffering zero damage at all, is laid out quite early in the film and for the most part the movie follows the characters progressions trying to determine a truth for the characters to live by. For maybe a half of the film the plot is on stand-still but everything shown has an impact eventually.

This is also a very dynamic film from a technical perspective as well. Certain unconventional shots, such as moving a camera in order to see through the gap between two train seats for instance, are used exceptionally well. Filming a reflection rather than the actual scene is used a few times throughout the running time and creates an feeling of distance from the characters as if you, the audience, are intruding amidst a genuine unscripted moment. On top of such genuine visual treats James Newton Howard's score is as thrilling as any conventional superhero soundtrack and gives an aura of power to scenes that need that extra punch of dynamism to really stir up the emotions that are required.

It's a wonder M. Night Shyamalan only gets recognised for his twists when he can write such great material and translate it to the screen so well. Unbreakable certainly lacks action and urgency but for a genuinely innovative take on the super-hero genre, Unbreakable has absolutely raised the bar.

5/5

Originally posted on Screened.com on March 1st, 2011